How to measure relationship potential
Many women don’t commit to a boyfriend. She doesn’t know if he is going to turn out a disaster when he has stopped being on his “early days” best behaviour.
Many business deals that could be of great advantage to both sides don’t go ahead because of the same lack of trust. Trust comes from understanding. Understanding comes from effective communication.
These four questions were designed for personal relationships – and work as well in business.
There are signs in how people speak that can tell you in depth about their personality, if you know how to listen for them. Word choice, speed, flow, pauses, pitch, loudness, laughter, reveal crucial information if we listen with awareness.
We all have many layers of vocal complexity, so, unless we are trained, we can be misled.
When we listen THROUGH the layers to the tones underneath, our past experience enables us to discover the true emotional state of the other person – and if they are being honest.
Here is how to measure a relationship’s success potential.
Answer these four questions about yourself and the other person and see how closely your scores match.
Emotional expression
1. What sort of words do they use?
(a) cold and analytical
(b) Passionate and flowery
(c) Relaxed and laid back
(d) A mixture of the above
2. What emotion does their laughter have in it?
(a) Relaxed, calmness – “I am enjoying this.”
(b) arrogance – “I am clever.”
(c) Embarrassment – as though feeling not allowed to laugh.
(d) Excitement – almost hysterical.
(e) Different laughs for different types of amusement.
3. How do they sound when they are stressed?
(a) Whining or accusatory.
(b) Targetted and impatient.
(c) Accusatory.
(d) It depends on the type of stress.
4. What is their style when they are angry?
(a) Blaming.
(b) Ranting.
(c) Cold and hard.
(d) Determined.
(e) A mixture.
1a score 1. This man will withdraw into himself when you have problems
1b score 2. This can be fun as long as he is not too into his own eloquence
1c score 3. Easy to be with – does he have enough fire for you?
1d score 4. A roller coaster ride – is it too exciting for you?
2a score 5. This man is into sharing pleasure
2b score 1. This is “I am great” do you want to live with that?
2c score 3. He needs reassurance and will not harm you
2d score 3. He explodes with his emotions
2e score 6. He interacts with the world around him. Sensitive
3a score 1. Will he blame you?
3b score 5. He will get things done
3c score 0. In times of trouble you will get the blame
3d score 5. He is likely to listen to you and “see reason.”
4a score 0
4b score 2 he is having fun
4c score 4 he is likely to protect you – if you want to live with a warrior!
4d score 5. He will sort the problem
4e score 3 – exciting stuff if you want it
The higher the score, the better you or he can be successful in modern day life. If there is a large difference between your scores, one of you will be carrying the other and being blamed for everything that fails. If you both have very low scores you will be at each other’s throat at the slightest hccup.
Ask yourself: How well do these answers fit with how you want to be treated? Then you will know whether or not it is safe to say YES to the man or woman who asks you to make that big commitment on Valentine’s Day – or to that business relationship.
Many women don’t commit to a boyfriend. She doesn’t know if he is going to turn out a disaster when he has stopped being on his “early days” best behaviour.
Many business deals that could be of great advantage to both sides don’t go ahead because of the same lack of trust. Trust comes from understanding. Understanding comes from effective communication.
These four questions were designed for personal relationships – and work as well in business.
There are signs in how people speak that can tell you in depth about their personality, if you know how to listen for them. Word choice, speed, flow, pauses, pitch, loudness, laughter, reveal crucial information if we listen with awareness.
We all have many layers of vocal complexity, so, unless we are trained, we can be misled.
When we listen THROUGH the layers to the tones underneath, our past experience enables us to discover the true emotional state of the other person – and if they are being honest.
Here is how to measure a relationship’s success potential.
Answer these four questions about yourself and the other person and see how closely your scores match.
Emotional expression
1. What sort of words do they use?
(a) cold and analytical
(b) Passionate and flowery
(c) Relaxed and laid back
(d) A mixture of the above
2. What emotion does their laughter have in it?
(a) Relaxed, calmness – “I am enjoying this.”
(b) arrogance – “I am clever.”
(c) Embarrassment – as though feeling not allowed to laugh.
(d) Excitement – almost hysterical.
(e) Different laughs for different types of amusement.
3. How do they sound when they are stressed?
(a) Whining or accusatory.
(b) Targetted and impatient.
(c) Accusatory.
(d) It depends on the type of stress.
4. What is their style when they are angry?
(a) Blaming.
(b) Ranting.
(c) Cold and hard.
(d) Determined.
(e) A mixture.
1a score 1. This man will withdraw into himself when you have problems
1b score 2. This can be fun as long as he is not too into his own eloquence
1c score 3. Easy to be with – does he have enough fire for you?
1d score 4. A roller coaster ride – is it too exciting for you?
2a score 5. This man is into sharing pleasure
2b score 1. This is “I am great” do you want to live with that?
2c score 3. He needs reassurance and will not harm you
2d score 3. He explodes with his emotions
2e score 6. He interacts with the world around him. Sensitive
3a score 1. Will he blame you?
3b score 5. He will get things done
3c score 0. In times of trouble you will get the blame
3d score 5. He is likely to listen to you and “see reason.”
4a score 0
4b score 2 he is having fun
4c score 4 he is likely to protect you – if you want to live with a warrior!
4d score 5. He will sort the problem
4e score 3 – exciting stuff if you want it
The higher the score, the better you or he can be successful in modern day life. If there is a large difference between your scores, one of you will be carrying the other and being blamed for everything that fails. If you both have very low scores you will be at each other’s throat at the slightest hccup.
Ask yourself: How well do these answers fit with how you want to be treated? Then you will know whether or not it is safe to say YES to the man or woman who asks you to make that big commitment on Valentine’s Day – or to that business relationship.